This is a bit of a departure from my my other postings in that it will be a little more personal. I feel like that it is important for me to document these thoughts, not only for myself, but in hopes that you will find some encouragement from my experiences.
I’m not going to bore you with the details of how this current situation came to pass because they really don’t matter so much and they wouldn’t benefit the spirit of this posting. I have been given a 3-day unpaid suspension from work. Considering the nature of the issue that led to this outcome, I believe it to be an excessive penalty. This has left me to question my self-worth as a person and a librarian. I have been left with a deep mistrust of my employer. I fear losing my job after 15 years with the same library system. I have tried to remain as positive I as I can throughout the process, but reality hit me this weekend. What would happen if I lost my job? What would I do after that? No amount of positive thinking would bring me peace of mind, Heaven forbid that these things should ever come to pass. It’s a very unsettling and upsetting feeling, to say the least. I had been handed some nasty, bitter lemons.
Then I went to Mass this morning with one of my best friends and had an encounter with the Great Lemonade Maker! I heard the themes of faith and courage throughout the service. The Maker himself assured me that everything would be OK and that He would protect me. I could hand over all of those nasty, bitter lemons and trust that He will make the sweetest, best tasting lemonade.
I don’t know exactly how that lemonade is going to taste just yet. In the meantime, I’m going to take these 3 imposed days off and take care of myself. I have some things that I want to do that will be positive for my body, mind, and spirit. This will be a time of renewal.
With that, I trust that The Maker will deal accordingly with those who dumped the lemons onto me to begin with. 🙂